a few good minutes...

Let me start by pointing out a few things. I’m not gay, I don’t smoke pot, and I don’t own a gun...in fact I’ve never even fired one. That said, being a homosexual, using marijuana, and (legally) owning a gun all have something in common. They all three should be legally protected rights in our country. All three of them (long with a host of others) are actually one issue: the issue that grown adults should be allowed the freedom to do what they please as long as it doesn’t interfere or harm another. These are issues that are hardly ever viewed in the same arena because too many people in this country choose to label themselves as left-wing or right-wing and fail to see the common ground among these (and many other) issues.

Let’s start with the right to gay marriage. There seems to be no rational argument for not allowing two grown, consenting adults to marry whomever they choose. The argument for gay marriage is pretty simple. Gay people want to have the same legal rights with their partners as do strait married people. Opponents claim that through wills and power of attorneys and civil unions, that gays can accomplish most, if not all, of these goals. My argument against that is, “Well, if you’re okay with them having all that, then why not just let them get married?!?” The real opposition to gay marriage in this country is obvious: it’s prejudice. Most people who are against gay marriage believe that the definition of marriage is the sanctified union of a man and a woman, under God. They feel that to allow two people of the same sex to get married is to desecrate that sanctity. First off, I believe we have two things called 1) separation of church and state, and 2) freedom of religion (I assume most gays follow a spiritual path in which they do not view their homosexuality in direct opposition to the desired goal(s) of their faith). So, from a standpoint of the state, let ‘em get married! And even if that argument still isn’t good enough for the Christian-right, I say this to them: You can talk all you want to about the sanctity of marriage the moment that heterosexuals stop getting divorced at 50% a clip! I’m sure that when over half the heterosexual couples getting married “under God” break those vows of “until death do us part” long before they’re anywhere near 6 feet under, they view that as destroying the sanctity as well. Are the religious-right actually going to blame gays alone for what they perceive as an assault on the sanctity of marriage when many among them make a covenant to themselves, their lover, and God, and then fail to keep it? To expect gay couples to listen to that argument is laughable. When Bob and Gary are sending out invitations to their 25th “union” anniversary and they can’t remember the name of their friend Mark’s fourth wife, the whole argument that only heterosexual marriages are the sanctified ones falls a little flat! I’m personally not saying that all divorces are such a bad thing – sometimes there are really good reason for the dissolution of a marriage – but I just don’t want to hear that the gays alone are the ones changing our modern-day concepts of what’s acceptable when it comes to marriage. There are SOOOOO many other important issues going on in our country, I can’t believe that politicians (and people in general) are wasting so much time, money, energy, and effort to potentially keep two grown adults out of the same bed! If it doesn’t involve me, and it doesn’t hurt any unwilling participant, what do I care where a grown man wants to put his penis? Is this really at the top of our priority list? And by the way, I’m pretty sure God doesn’t “HATE” gays. Oh, maybe he’s disappointed at the gays and lesbians, but I bet he’s really disappointed when people hold up signs saying that he hates things.

Now stay with me, and hear me out on the whole marijuana issue. I’ve smoked pot before. I had a few-month run with it during 8th grade. It wasn’t really my bag. I haven’t touched it since. Most people think pot is generally a bad thing. Bet let’s look at pot next to it’s glorious big cousin: alcohol. Marijuana is a less destructive drug than alcohol. It kills far less people than alcohol. Pot doesn’t generally drive husbands to beat their wives and children. You add up the number of alcohol-related heart/liver problems, cases of spousal or child abuse, and number of drunk-driving accidents and fatalities, and I’m pretty sure that we’re dealing with a much bigger problem than marijuana has to offer. Yeah, sure, some pot smokers sit on their lazy asses all day, watching reruns and stuffing down soda and cheetohs, but so do a lot of non-pot smokers. Most people who smoke weed use it in the same manner that most people use alcohol; as a once in a while way to relax. The case for making pot legal just makes sense. Think of all the money, man-power, and time that is wasted fighting the “war on marijuana” (a war we’ll never win, by the way). All those resources could be better allocated fighting against drugs that really do ruin lives – drugs far more destructive than pot or even alcohol – like heroin and coke. The case against pot is a pretty weak one. People claim it’s the “gateway” drug. Yeah, well it’s only the gateway drug because when people want to go get some pot, they can’t go down to the local QT and by a carton of doobies. Instead, they have to go get it from someone who is a drug dealer. A dealer who is probably a rather seedy, non-law-abiding individual who lurks in the shadows and deals in other illegal contraband (like hardcore drugs - and even if the dealer’s not so seedy – someone on up the food-chain is). If I could just go down to the store and buy some pot, the drug dealers wouldn’t have a business. We’re creating the black market, and the crime associated with it, by keeping this stuff illegal. How do you thing the mob got so powerful? Prohibition! And once we did put a good portion of the drug dealers out of business, we could slap a (fair) tax on that stuff and generate even more money! And I’m not even going to delve into the moral/religious argument here. The whole “our bodies are temples from our creator and we shouldn’t willingly desecrate them” argument seems a little thin when two-thirds of Americans have done a fine ‘ol job of desecrating their temples with cholesterol, saturated and trans fats, fats food, and 2.8 billion gallons of non-diet soda! Not to mention the alcohol. Once again. If a grown man/woman wants to light up a blunt on a Friday night after a tough week at the office, why the hell should I care? As long as they’re doing it in their own homes, or at some other safe venue, and not blowing the smoke into their kids’ faces, what’s the big deal?

And on to gun control. Now, like I said, I don’t own a gun. But I really don’t understand why a right that’s laid out as the second most important thing on the Bill of Rights in this country is under so much heat! I mean, do rednecks and cowboys buying hunting rifles at Wal-Mart really translate into more gun violence on the streets? Does a grown man carry a handgun (with the proper permits, of course) in his car during his commute through a rough part of town really get that many people upset? It sure as hell shouldn’t. When did looking out for your own safety and survival become such an outrageous act? That’s one of our most basic instincts – survive, avoid danger and death!!! The real problem isn’t the guns, it’s the culture in which people that use guns wrongly are living in. The “prison” culture that so many in our urban areas have come to immolate is destroying this country – and doing a fair job of destroying the reputation of so many hard-working, well-spoken, decent young black, Hispanic, and (gasp - even white!) males. Do we need education about guns? Yes (in fact, I’m sure 80% of the NRA would love the opportunity to teach adolescents the proper do’s and don’ts of handling, and the dangers of, guns) Do we need proper permits and waiting periods when it comes to the sale of guns? Yes. But what we really need are homes in which sons are raised by fathers in such a way that blasting off a gun at a human target is an option that doesn’t even cross the mind. Too many young black men are raised in an environment where it’s seen as acceptable to blast away. Too many white teenagers with social hang-ups are drawing up plans of how to shoot up their entire English class. The guns aren’t the problem. It’s the irresponsibility of people that is the problem. If a grown, responsible man wants to own a gun, he should be able to. It’s a constitutionally protected right to bear arms and I see no reason for it to change. Guys shooting at paper targets, clay pigeons, and deer aren’t the guys handing Uzis over to gang members and drug lords.

But, alas, gay-marriage will continue to be a hot topic, marijuana will probably never be legalized, and the debate over gun control isn’t likely to come to an end any time soon. It’s just funny that grown men and women all across this country want their rights, they just don’t want their fellow American to have a different, but equally fair, right. I just fail too see the logic in thinking you should be protected from those who want to ban the second amendment, but you don’t think a grown man should have the right to marry who he chooses. I fail to see the logic in wanting the right to consume marijuana but not recognizing that a bar owner should be able to allow smoking is his place of business. The rights of freedom in this country are being blurred along party lines. People on the left want one thing while people on the right ask for another, all the while failing to see that the things which they seek to be a protected right share so many similarities. Our freedom is what makes us unique. Both as Americans and as humans. Our free will is a beautiful thing. It is what makes us uniquely human. And if a grown man or woman wants to do something that won’t harm anyone else, the why should anyone else stand in opposition to that? If I want to marry someone of the same sex, or if I want to take a hit off of a bong, or if I want to hunt quail, or (in my case) if I want to allow smoking in my place of business – and place the proper signage to notify all would-be patrons – what in the holy hell is the problem? I think the problem is that people are just too selfish. We live in a culture where people want what they want when they want it and other people be damned. The cry from the right is, “I hate fags! They can get married in hell!”. The cry from the left is “You shouldn’t be smoking! It’s bad for you anyway and I hate smelling like smoke when I get home from willingly choosing to patron your night club!” Both cries are ridiculous, and if you listen closely, they sound exactly the same. We live in a society where people cling to one side of the political spectrum like it’s their faith and they have their minds made up before the negotiating can even begin.

So please, just remember and respect the rights of others. You have rights you want them to respect. I think Nick Hexum said it best: “Do what thou will shall be the whole of the law until you violate the rights of another. Respect the space of your sister and your brother. The war on drugs may be well intended but it falls flat when you start to mention an over-crowded prison where a rapist gets paroled to make room for a dude who was sold a pound of weed. To me that’s a crime. Here’s to good people doing time.”